Overcoming limiting beliefs
How would you like to unleash your potential by conquering limiting beliefs with an easy ABCDE concept?
When I work with clients who have a limiting belief process in place, I want to explore more fully how it’s possible to dilute negativity to conquer these limiting beliefs and unlock my clients potential. This blog explores how negative talk can impact us and how the ABCDE concept can help us break free from self-doubt.
Here's how we can begin to understand limiting beliefs; essentially they are invisible barriers, hindering growth and success. They arise from past experiences, societal influences, and self-perception. These beliefs manifest as self-sabotaging thoughts preventing us from reaching our highest potential. Limiting beliefs act like mental roadblocks, stunting our personal and professional development. They are the inner voices that tell us we are not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough to achieve our dreams and aspirations.
The formation of limiting beliefs often traces back to our childhood experiences. The way we were raised, the messages we received from our parents, teachers, and peers, all shape our self-perception and belief systems from a very young age. For instance, if a child was constantly criticized for their artistic abilities, they may develop a belief that they are not creative, carrying this limiting belief into adulthood and preventing them from pursuing artistic endeavors.
Societal influences also play a significant role in the development of limiting beliefs. Cultural norms, stereotypes, and expectations can ingrain certain beliefs in our psyche, making it challenging to break free from them. For example, societal biases about gender roles may lead some individuals to believe that certain careers or pursuits are not suitable for them based on their gender, ultimately limiting their choices and potential.
Self-perception is another critical factor contributing to limiting beliefs. Our own inner critic can be our harshest judge, amplifying self-doubt and negative self-talk. Past failures or setbacks can reinforce the belief that we are not capable of succeeding, even when evidence suggests otherwise. This negative self-perception can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading us to sabotage our own efforts and perpetuate the cycle of self-doubt.
These beliefs manifest as self-sabotaging thoughts that prevent us from taking risks, pursuing opportunities, or fully committing to our goals. They create an invisible barrier that holds us back from reaching our highest potential. For instance, someone with a limiting belief about their intelligence may avoid challenging educational or career opportunities, settling for less than they are capable of achieving.
Limiting beliefs can also affect our relationships, emotional well-being, and overall quality of life. They can prevent us from forming meaningful connections, experiencing joy and fulfillment, and living life to the fullest. When we allow these beliefs to dictate our actions and decisions, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to grow, learn, and evolve as individuals.
It is crucial to recognize that limiting beliefs are not immutable truths but rather distorted perceptions shaped by our experiences and environments. By becoming aware of these beliefs and challenging their validity, we can begin to dismantle them and create space for personal growth and transformation. Overcoming limiting beliefs requires a conscious effort to identify, question, and replace them with more empowering and constructive beliefs that align with our true potential and aspirations.
The ABCDE Concept
The ABCDE model originally came from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) it analyses how thoughts/beliefs affect emotions and behaviours:
A - Activating Event - Where did the limiting belief start, or what situation are you finding yourself in that is hard for you?
B - Belief about the event - What belief do you have about that situation?
C - Consequences of that belief - What is the impact of this belief on your life? Perhaps this belief served you at one point, but no longer does?
D - Disputing the belief - How real is the belief? Is it reasonable? Rational? Logical?
E - Exchange the belief - Focus your attention on a more reasonable belief that would empower you instead. How? Keep reading!
You know how we all have those nagging little voices in our heads that tell us we're not good enough or can't achieve our dreams? Those are limiting beliefs, and they can really hold us back. The first step is to get brutally honest with yourself about what those negative stories are, that you keep repeating. This can be tough because we rarely watch our own cognition in this much detail, we often aren’t aware that these beliefs are driving our thoughts, which are in turn creating the feelings we experience on a day to day basis. Limiting beliefs can take many forms, such as "I'm not good enough," "I'll never succeed," or "I don't deserve happiness." These negative thought patterns can stem from childhood experiences, societal conditioning, or even past failures. They become deeply ingrained in our subconscious minds, influencing our actions, emotions, and decisions without us even realising it.The insidious nature of limiting beliefs lies in their ability to shape our reality. When we hold onto these beliefs, we unconsciously seek out evidence to validate them, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. This can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt, procrastination, and missed opportunities, ultimately preventing us from reaching our full potential.
A life coach (or a purpose coach!) will really help you to spot these when they’re in play. Especially when it comes to our career, business coaching to help us overcome these limiting beliefs can be extremely helpful. A coach willl be able to identify these repeating patterns of thought and/or behaviours. Maybe they’ll notice that you kick back compliments, or that you say you’re not up for the job or that you can’t do dating, parties, travelling or whatever your limiting thought is. However, we can also do a lot of this work on our own if we’re determined enough, and the ABCDE method is there to help you do just that. It’ll help you question where the beliefs come from originally, you’ll have to dig deep to identify the origins. Sometimes they’re from childhood, societal doctrine or maybe even that old whipping boy, imposter syndrome. This is when you look at how they are making you act in ways that are holding you back? But don’t worry, once you shine a light on those limiting beliefs, that's honestly when the real work can start.
So here’s how we go about putting our ABCDE into practice. Firstly, you've got to challenge those negative voices and beliefs. Think back to times when they were just wrong - when you did achieve something those thoughts said you couldn't. Challenge their logic and validity at every turn. The more you re-evaluate and dismantle these thoughts piece-by-piece, the quicker they'll lose their grip on you. By starting to identify the negative thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back. and reflecting on where these beliefs originated and how they influence your actions and emotions today, you can challenge their validity by continually recalling instances where you have proven them wrong. By questioning the logic behind these beliefs, you can begin to weaken them..
But it's not enough to just tear down the negative beliefs, they’re there for a reason and may have served you well at one point, maybe even protected you or somehow made you feel powerful, but now you have to replace them with new empowering ones because clearly, they’re not serving you well, if they are limiting you. Once you've identified a limiting belief, it's time to challenge it. Ask yourself where this belief originated and whether it is based on facts or assumptions. So, you need to get intentional about cultivating positive self-talk that matches up with your biggest goals and dreams. What would a truly confident, unstoppable version of you believe about yourself? Start telling yourself those new stories, and visualise how you'll show up when you’ve dismantled the limiting belief and exchanged it for a positive and real one. Personally, the way I do this is by using mantras. It’s important that the mantras you use are reasonable and rational enough that you are on board with them. If you start telling yourself you are a really generous person, when in fact you do not believe you are a generous person, there’s actually sound research now showing that this can make you feel even worse! So it’s important that the mantras you choose are beliefs that you can really get behind. By using affirmations or mantras to reinforce your new empowering beliefs and ensuring that these mantras resonate with you and feel authentic, you will begin to feel the freedom of self belief. The freedom to make the right choices in life for you now. By avoiding using statements that contradict your core values or beliefs, you can avoid internal conflict. So by repeating positive affirmations regularly, you can reprogram your subconscious mind, create new neural pathways and strengthen your self-belief. It’s not magic, it’s perseverance, authenticity and ultimately, muscle memory - the more you do it, the more you’ll do it, the more you’ll believe it.
Ultimately though, you've got to be pursuing a bigger vision of your life. Here’s where you need to get crystal clear on painting a picture of your life that gets you motivated and shining inside. A future where you're showing up as your greatest, most powerful self. Let that compelling vision of your potential become the power that pulls you forward and leaves the pain and limiting beliefs of the past behind. That's when you'll feel truly unstoppable - having something painful to move away from (made easier by becoming very aware of how this limiting belief is creating pain or unrest in your life), and having something compelling to move towards. Why not try fast-forwarding to the future - your future, visualise it now, paint a vivid picture of where you want to be, who you want to become. Envision yourself as the superhero version of you, conquering challenges and radiating confidence. Let that vision pull you forward like a magnet, leaving behind all those old doubts and fears in the past. Paint a vivid picture of your ideal future self – confident, successful, and fulfilled. Visualise yourself overcoming challenges with ease and radiating self-assurance. Let this compelling vision inspire and motivate you to take action towards your goals. By focusing on the possibilities ahead rather than dwelling on past limitations, you can propel yourself towards a brighter future.
In conclusion, by implementing the ABCDE method and adopting a mindset of growth and positivity, you can overcome limiting beliefs, unleash your inner potential, and embark on a path towards personal fulfilment and success. It takes practice though. So embrace this journey with determination – you have the power to shape your own destiny! And always remember, you hold the pen to your own story. You have the power to rewrite it, to break free from limitations, and to unlock your true worth.
And lastly, here’s some inspirational links to get you motivated.
For ultimate inspiration on how to overcome limiting beliefs check out Mel Robbins
Here’s a helpful worksheet which concentrates on core beliefs and how to overcome limiting ones.
Check out this 10 self-limiting beliefs and how to overcome them